Uta no Princestuck
by grimdark
Summary: Crossover with Uta no Prince-sama. Basically just a character centric comedy rewrite. I can have my own bad AU too, right? Why not a funny one?


_"A penetrating light cuts the darkness betwixt._

_A heart's result, making a flower blossom in remote woods._

_Journeys sprawling through the atmosphere._

_If anything were to change the earth, it would be music."_

Her footfalls hit the snowy pavement fast. The closer she had gotten, the more the iron bars of the extravagant building got closer to each other.

"Wait, please!" she called out, picking up her pace to about a mach 5 sort of flavour. It was already difficult to keep her balance in this weather, but the speedboost just about sent her toppling onto her dainty little bottom. "Please, let me through!"

Her panicked voice was a bit of a surprise to her. Something her mother had definitely warned her against was losing her composure. She stopped before the gate keepers, smoothing out her frock nervously.

"Forget it, no one past the gate after the set time."

"But I'd really like to write this exam, sir!" The girl felt herself holding back a shout, albeit not too well.

"No chance!"

She took a step forward, unfortunately onto a hidden patch of ice. Her feet came out from under her, and she gasped sharply as she awaited a harsh crash to the ground. But what she had really felt was hands under her arms, pulling her back to her feet. Well, that was a relief, but who?

She tilted her head back, staring up with a tight lipped frown at her saviour. He smiled down at her from behind his glasses politely, in a goofy way.

"hey uh are you okay? wouldn't it be kinda terrible if you caught a cold? hehehe"

"Thank you," she nodded back, returning his smile the best she could. Considering the mood the gatemen had put her in, it was a chore.

"Who are you?" one of them asked, and the boy took his hands from the girl and turned to them.

"i'm here for the exams" he explained, motioning to the girl. "you know there's a half an hour left until they actually start and i think she wants it pretty badly... so why not let her in?"

"Late is late. If you can't be here on time, then you're not the sort of student Zahhak Academy needs."

The pair frowned deeply. That wasn't the sort of news anyone wanted to hear.

"DoN'T It aLl gO AnD On dEpEnD On tHe rEaSoN, MoThErFuCkEr?"

The group turned their heads towards a limo as the driver stepped out. An umbrella was in his hand, and he reached for the backmost door. Already cracked open presumably by the voice that had spoken up.

A tall male stepped from the car, his hair hair long, dark and messy. It curled around horns and clownfaced makeup, and a sleepy smile he wore on top.

"ThIs hErE LaDy hErE WaS FuCkIn' HeLpIn' OuT A LiTtLe bUdDy aNd tHaT'S WhY ThE MoThErFuCkEr wAs aLl uP AnD LaTe lIkE ThAt. ShIt. I WaS WaTcHiN' tHe wHoLe mOtHeRfUcKiN' tImE DaWg."

He held a hand to his umbrella staff, making his way toward the others without the portable shelter.

"If i wAsN'T ZoNiN' oUt aNd sNaPpIn' ThE NeCk oN A SwEeT FaYgO AnD NoTiCeD ThIs lItTlE MiLkBeAsT WaS CoMiN' tO Go aLl aNd tAkE ThE ExAm wElL I WoUlD'Ve fUcKiN' pIcKeD HeR TiTs tHe sHiT Up." He stood beside the bespectacled boy, holding out an umbrella in his hand. "LiTtLe bItCh lOsT HeR MoThErFuCkIn' UmBrElLa bUt i gOt hEr a kNeW OnE SiNcE ThAt's jUsT ThE SoRt oF MoThErFuCkIn' BrO I Am."

"... Thank you," The girl took the umbrella from the troll with a forced smile.

"I ThInK ThAt iF We gOt a bRo wHo's gOnNa gO Up aNd hElP SoMe lOsT MoThErFuCkIn' WrIgGlEr wE GoT SoMeOnE WhO'S ThE TyPe oF FuCkIn' BrO We nEeD Up iN HeRe."

"yeah! she seems super nice and stuff and you should let her take the test!" the other male chimed in cheerfully. "and that's really all there is to say on the matter!"

"That would be lovely." She smiled at the guards as charmingly as she could.

"How many times do we have to say no means no? We can't let you in!" one guard scolded while the other answered his chiming phone.

"Well, apparently it's all right. She can go in."

Everyone blinked confusion out of their eyes.

"... Excuse me?"

"They're making an exception. You can take the test."

"Thank you so very much!"

"wow you did it!" The boy in the glasses clapped her on the back, giving her a buck-toothed grin.

"Thank both of you so very, very much." The blonde girl tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her tight lipped smile growing at the edges. The wild haired troll placed both hands on her shoulders and returned her happiness.

"GoOd mOtHeRfUcKiN' lUcK On yOuR ExAm. I BeTtEr bE SeEiN' yOuR TiTs aGaIn iN ApRiL."

"I would prefer that we didn't. Please refrain from touching me." She took him by the wrists and pulled them from her shoulders gingerly.

And so began the testing period of Rose Lalonde.


End file.
